Sin

The aftermath is now
Complete is the cancer's spreading
Undeniably complete
Slapped in the face
You recoil back
And ask if I want to take it back
Credibility destroyed
My head is hung
Vulnerability realized
As I hold the smoking gun

Existence and time and space are halted
As the Master of all inclines His ear
The air that fills my lungs is a luxury
Emerged from the water
Cut me off

Shame encompasses the greater side
As I extinguish my own light
Tears of sorrow you shed
As oblivious to the sacrifice I still remain

Entry #2

Curses! How could I be so blind?

A new, exciting route of destruction has been unveiled to my ignorant eyes. One of sure prosperity in the condemnation of my subject. As many mortals do, my subject often looks to the future; to a plateau of spiritual contentment with the Enemy. He thinks of the here and now as a dreadful storm before the calm. Some thought-infiltration later (a very handy method with this disgusting human), and he's delightfully discouraged again. "You're working towards nothing," I whisper meticulously. "It's all a rat race, it'll never get any easier."
Quickly, however, my success was foiled, as the subject immediately when into converse with the Enemy. My ears burning and anger flaring, I was cast away by The Almighty One. My seeds, however, still remain.
The paradox that concerns me is this: If my efforts to thwart the peace of my human's mind only results in his clinging to the Enemy, what good am I? Truly this will be a battle. Continued study of his weaknesses is required.

-Scourge

Dear friends

Greetings,

You don't know me. Or see me. That's ok, though. My name is Scourgewire. I'm writing an update on the damnation of my subject, Matthew Kenyon. I figured I'd use the internet (a tool paramount in the failure of other's souls) to advertise his temptations. I notice my subject bases many things on sheer emotion. Such disgusting fluctuation of the human "heart" detests me, but delights me to no end when I consider how it may be used to destroy him.
I've been recently capitalizing on my subject's sense of what mortals refer to as "guilt". Such a fool, this boy! Does he not know the Enemy, with strangely proud motives, wiped his guilt clean when Our Master hung Him on the tree? Of course he does! My job, however, is to keep that gut-wrenching truth in the back of his mind. His consistent prayer, however, is a nuisance that needs to be exploited in the near future. More soon.

-Scourgewire

A Message

So something pretty surreal has been happening lately. I pray a lot.
Like... a lot a lot.


And every time I've gone into prayer, I hear a phrase. A quiet whisper of a thought pounding in my brain. It's barely audible, but perfectly understandable. I believe Jesus is heavily laying something on my heart.

"Be alert. Things are happening that are bigger then what your eyes can see."

that's what I hear, over and over.

The Invisible War

Crouched down in the dirt and tall grass, your body shakes with the shock of battle. Your breathing is heavy... your eyes weak and sad. You grasp your weapon tightly in your hand. You check your six: all clear. Your vision is limited from the stifling helmet, but you can see an outcropping just beyond the dense trees. Illuminated by the setting sun, the sweat on your face glistens, mixed with dirt and grease and blood, an indescribable filth cakes your entire body. Before you give your mind a chance to consider the potential consequences, you leap into a sprint, running so hard your muscles begin to burn. Just a few more feet. You leap over a tree stump and duck your head as bullets rain from an unknown direction. You reach the earth once more with a thud, never slowing, never stopping. You spot a foxhole occupied by an unknown comrade. The weight of the world lightens a little. With a small dive, you eat a mouthful of safe, covered dirt, and peace of mind is achieved, at least for a while. You turn to your friend and sputter out a request to follow you. He doesn't move, staring at you with hesitant eyes. No. He won't go with you. The enemy is too great, he says. There's no point in resisting, he says. Your stomach drops to your feet. Not another one. And to think that you can't take him with you. No matter how hard you try, it has to be his choice. You tell him he's doomed to destruction, that he's on the losing side. You tell him not to give up hope, but to fight hard until the end, which will justify all the pain. He won't listen though. He's too distracted by what's around him. By the here and now. He's too blinded to see the reward that waits for him if he just

keeps

pressing

on.

I hope, as a Christian, you feel like this. No, it doesn't make me happy you feel like this. I don't feel happy you feel discouraged or pained. But you should. And if you do, you're on the right track. Truth be told, we're behind enemy lines. Satan has power. Let's face it. And we're on his turf. His battlefield. His pit of sin and lust and destruction. This is his big chocolate-covered bomb. His grand deception. His master plan. And I gotta hand it to him, finding pleasure in earthly things is easy nowadays.

But what if we didn't. What if we shoved his sinful offers right back in his ugly face. What if we rebelled against the customs of this world and ran. Ran until our muscles burned. Ran for the goal, grabbing as many of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as we could. What if, amidst the storm of bullets and arrows and pain, we pressed on, knowing that the end would justify it all. What if we put our faith in the unseen. In the truth. What if we ALL did that. What if we could somehow turn Satan's own field against him. What if we took this beautiful earth that our Lord created BACK.

Sounds like a remarkably effective battle strategy to me.

So let's do it.

Matthew 7

I can't tell you how many times I've read these words:

"Any why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye?"
Matthew 7:3 & 4 (NLV)

When I read it today, I actually stopped to think about it for more than a few seconds (what a novel idear!!).

The woodwork in this analogy obviously represents sin. The log, being highly destructive, life-ruining sin, and the speck representing daily sin, stuff that we may think goes unnoticed.

Truth is, we all have some wood in our eye. Whether it be a redwood tree or a speck of sawdust, all sin and fall short of the glory of God. No one in this world is free from sin, every single person, no matter how perfect they strive to be, still sins.

So what's Jesus saying here? Well, the emphasis in this case is on what He's not saying.

Who can judge?

Who is perfect enough to judge the next guy on all his sins and faults?

No one. Not you, not me. Jesus.

Jesus is the only one who doesn't have that mess in his eyes. He's the only one who can see clearly enough beyond the smokescreen of this world to judge.

So the next time you judge, think to yourself, "Am I free from sin? Don't I have my fallacies and weaknesses as well?"

It's so great when you think about it. He's the perfect judge. He's the perfect mapmaker for our lives.

I'm glad we didn't leave that job up to a human.

Cards on the table

You know what I love? How miserable and uncomfortable I've been lately. How discouraged and worthless I've felt. I love it. Every second of it.

I'm not crazy, either.

This is what I picture. Satan's sitting at his little control desk, in a bad mood, like always. He's drinking his coffee, staring at a little radar screen. He zooms in on the US. He's always had considerable "productivity" there. Sexual sin is the biggest payoff. He chuckles as he thinks about all the people who strike it rich but will eventually lose it all. Suddenly, a little blip flashes on his radar. There are million all over the world, but when another one pops up it always strikes a nerve in him.

"Crap," he says. "Not another one."

He zooms in. He sees a young kid. Lanky and clumsy, yet passionate. The Enemy watches as the kid talks to someone about Jesus. He seems kinda serious. Maybe a little too serious.

"That's not good," Satan whispers to himself. "Might have to take care of that..."

That's me.

The Enemy is taking time to discover my weaknesses, like a lion getting ready to eat a gazelle, following it's pattern; exploiting its flaws. He knows every crevice of pain I hide. Every sin he can grow and water, like a morbid weed, and then expose it in hopes of destroying me. Sorry bud, but I kinda just foiled your "element of surprise".

I may never be cool. I may never be well-liked. I may never make another friend. I may never have a wife I can love and cherish. I may never have children. I may never get rich. I may never become a successful minister! I may die. I may never become all that I've dreamed of.

But I will always be a soldier of my Lord, Jesus Christ. I will always fight these spiritual battles. I will always stand for the most important thing in the universe.

But most of all, as long as I have breath in my lungs, I will be a threat to the Enemy. I will call upon the strength of the Father and I will not be destroyed.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."