The beauty's in the drudgery
The growth is His delight
The fight, the valiant fight
See, THAT's His delight
The clay of my unsteady heart
He molds and crafts
Or holds back?
Perhaps, but I can't understand
It's all in the timing!
Embrace the pain
For fire is refined the same way
New ventures await!
And while the earth quakes
I still feel hate
Vulnerable and naked
My bones ache
My ribcage starts
Unable to hold this unsteady heart
Believe it or not
Love will prove
It's good versus evil
And Love will prove!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sin
The aftermath is now
Complete is the cancer's spreading
Undeniably complete
Slapped in the face
You recoil back
And ask if I want to take it back
Credibility destroyed
My head is hung
Vulnerability realized
As I hold the smoking gun
Existence and time and space are halted
As the Master of all inclines His ear
The air that fills my lungs is a luxury
Emerged from the water
Cut me off
Shame encompasses the greater side
As I extinguish my own light
Tears of sorrow you shed
As oblivious to the sacrifice I still remain
Complete is the cancer's spreading
Undeniably complete
Slapped in the face
You recoil back
And ask if I want to take it back
Credibility destroyed
My head is hung
Vulnerability realized
As I hold the smoking gun
Existence and time and space are halted
As the Master of all inclines His ear
The air that fills my lungs is a luxury
Emerged from the water
Cut me off
Shame encompasses the greater side
As I extinguish my own light
Tears of sorrow you shed
As oblivious to the sacrifice I still remain
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Entry #2
Curses! How could I be so blind?
A new, exciting route of destruction has been unveiled to my ignorant eyes. One of sure prosperity in the condemnation of my subject. As many mortals do, my subject often looks to the future; to a plateau of spiritual contentment with the Enemy. He thinks of the here and now as a dreadful storm before the calm. Some thought-infiltration later (a very handy method with this disgusting human), and he's delightfully discouraged again. "You're working towards nothing," I whisper meticulously. "It's all a rat race, it'll never get any easier."
Quickly, however, my success was foiled, as the subject immediately when into converse with the Enemy. My ears burning and anger flaring, I was cast away by The Almighty One. My seeds, however, still remain.
The paradox that concerns me is this: If my efforts to thwart the peace of my human's mind only results in his clinging to the Enemy, what good am I? Truly this will be a battle. Continued study of his weaknesses is required.
-Scourge
A new, exciting route of destruction has been unveiled to my ignorant eyes. One of sure prosperity in the condemnation of my subject. As many mortals do, my subject often looks to the future; to a plateau of spiritual contentment with the Enemy. He thinks of the here and now as a dreadful storm before the calm. Some thought-infiltration later (a very handy method with this disgusting human), and he's delightfully discouraged again. "You're working towards nothing," I whisper meticulously. "It's all a rat race, it'll never get any easier."
Quickly, however, my success was foiled, as the subject immediately when into converse with the Enemy. My ears burning and anger flaring, I was cast away by The Almighty One. My seeds, however, still remain.
The paradox that concerns me is this: If my efforts to thwart the peace of my human's mind only results in his clinging to the Enemy, what good am I? Truly this will be a battle. Continued study of his weaknesses is required.
-Scourge
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Dear friends
Greetings,
You don't know me. Or see me. That's ok, though. My name is Scourgewire. I'm writing an update on the damnation of my subject, Matthew Kenyon. I figured I'd use the internet (a tool paramount in the failure of other's souls) to advertise his temptations. I notice my subject bases many things on sheer emotion. Such disgusting fluctuation of the human "heart" detests me, but delights me to no end when I consider how it may be used to destroy him.
I've been recently capitalizing on my subject's sense of what mortals refer to as "guilt". Such a fool, this boy! Does he not know the Enemy, with strangely proud motives, wiped his guilt clean when Our Master hung Him on the tree? Of course he does! My job, however, is to keep that gut-wrenching truth in the back of his mind. His consistent prayer, however, is a nuisance that needs to be exploited in the near future. More soon.
-Scourgewire
You don't know me. Or see me. That's ok, though. My name is Scourgewire. I'm writing an update on the damnation of my subject, Matthew Kenyon. I figured I'd use the internet (a tool paramount in the failure of other's souls) to advertise his temptations. I notice my subject bases many things on sheer emotion. Such disgusting fluctuation of the human "heart" detests me, but delights me to no end when I consider how it may be used to destroy him.
I've been recently capitalizing on my subject's sense of what mortals refer to as "guilt". Such a fool, this boy! Does he not know the Enemy, with strangely proud motives, wiped his guilt clean when Our Master hung Him on the tree? Of course he does! My job, however, is to keep that gut-wrenching truth in the back of his mind. His consistent prayer, however, is a nuisance that needs to be exploited in the near future. More soon.
-Scourgewire
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
A Message
So something pretty surreal has been happening lately. I pray a lot.
Like... a lot a lot.
And every time I've gone into prayer, I hear a phrase. A quiet whisper of a thought pounding in my brain. It's barely audible, but perfectly understandable. I believe Jesus is heavily laying something on my heart.
"Be alert. Things are happening that are bigger then what your eyes can see."
that's what I hear, over and over.
Like... a lot a lot.
And every time I've gone into prayer, I hear a phrase. A quiet whisper of a thought pounding in my brain. It's barely audible, but perfectly understandable. I believe Jesus is heavily laying something on my heart.
"Be alert. Things are happening that are bigger then what your eyes can see."
that's what I hear, over and over.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The Invisible War
Crouched down in the dirt and tall grass, your body shakes with the shock of battle. Your breathing is heavy... your eyes weak and sad. You grasp your weapon tightly in your hand. You check your six: all clear. Your vision is limited from the stifling helmet, but you can see an outcropping just beyond the dense trees. Illuminated by the setting sun, the sweat on your face glistens, mixed with dirt and grease and blood, an indescribable filth cakes your entire body. Before you give your mind a chance to consider the potential consequences, you leap into a sprint, running so hard your muscles begin to burn. Just a few more feet. You leap over a tree stump and duck your head as bullets rain from an unknown direction. You reach the earth once more with a thud, never slowing, never stopping. You spot a foxhole occupied by an unknown comrade. The weight of the world lightens a little. With a small dive, you eat a mouthful of safe, covered dirt, and peace of mind is achieved, at least for a while. You turn to your friend and sputter out a request to follow you. He doesn't move, staring at you with hesitant eyes. No. He won't go with you. The enemy is too great, he says. There's no point in resisting, he says. Your stomach drops to your feet. Not another one. And to think that you can't take him with you. No matter how hard you try, it has to be his choice. You tell him he's doomed to destruction, that he's on the losing side. You tell him not to give up hope, but to fight hard until the end, which will justify all the pain. He won't listen though. He's too distracted by what's around him. By the here and now. He's too blinded to see the reward that waits for him if he just
keeps
pressing
on.
I hope, as a Christian, you feel like this. No, it doesn't make me happy you feel like this. I don't feel happy you feel discouraged or pained. But you should. And if you do, you're on the right track. Truth be told, we're behind enemy lines. Satan has power. Let's face it. And we're on his turf. His battlefield. His pit of sin and lust and destruction. This is his big chocolate-covered bomb. His grand deception. His master plan. And I gotta hand it to him, finding pleasure in earthly things is easy nowadays.
But what if we didn't. What if we shoved his sinful offers right back in his ugly face. What if we rebelled against the customs of this world and ran. Ran until our muscles burned. Ran for the goal, grabbing as many of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as we could. What if, amidst the storm of bullets and arrows and pain, we pressed on, knowing that the end would justify it all. What if we put our faith in the unseen. In the truth. What if we ALL did that. What if we could somehow turn Satan's own field against him. What if we took this beautiful earth that our Lord created BACK.
Sounds like a remarkably effective battle strategy to me.
So let's do it.
keeps
pressing
on.
I hope, as a Christian, you feel like this. No, it doesn't make me happy you feel like this. I don't feel happy you feel discouraged or pained. But you should. And if you do, you're on the right track. Truth be told, we're behind enemy lines. Satan has power. Let's face it. And we're on his turf. His battlefield. His pit of sin and lust and destruction. This is his big chocolate-covered bomb. His grand deception. His master plan. And I gotta hand it to him, finding pleasure in earthly things is easy nowadays.
But what if we didn't. What if we shoved his sinful offers right back in his ugly face. What if we rebelled against the customs of this world and ran. Ran until our muscles burned. Ran for the goal, grabbing as many of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ as we could. What if, amidst the storm of bullets and arrows and pain, we pressed on, knowing that the end would justify it all. What if we put our faith in the unseen. In the truth. What if we ALL did that. What if we could somehow turn Satan's own field against him. What if we took this beautiful earth that our Lord created BACK.
Sounds like a remarkably effective battle strategy to me.
So let's do it.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Matthew 7
I can't tell you how many times I've read these words:
"Any why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye?"
Matthew 7:3 & 4 (NLV)
"Any why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye?"
Matthew 7:3 & 4 (NLV)
When I read it today, I actually stopped to think about it for more than a few seconds (what a novel idear!!).
The woodwork in this analogy obviously represents sin. The log, being highly destructive, life-ruining sin, and the speck representing daily sin, stuff that we may think goes unnoticed.
Truth is, we all have some wood in our eye. Whether it be a redwood tree or a speck of sawdust, all sin and fall short of the glory of God. No one in this world is free from sin, every single person, no matter how perfect they strive to be, still sins.
So what's Jesus saying here? Well, the emphasis in this case is on what He's not saying.
Who can judge?
Who is perfect enough to judge the next guy on all his sins and faults?
No one. Not you, not me. Jesus.
Jesus is the only one who doesn't have that mess in his eyes. He's the only one who can see clearly enough beyond the smokescreen of this world to judge.
So the next time you judge, think to yourself, "Am I free from sin? Don't I have my fallacies and weaknesses as well?"
It's so great when you think about it. He's the perfect judge. He's the perfect mapmaker for our lives.
I'm glad we didn't leave that job up to a human.
The woodwork in this analogy obviously represents sin. The log, being highly destructive, life-ruining sin, and the speck representing daily sin, stuff that we may think goes unnoticed.
Truth is, we all have some wood in our eye. Whether it be a redwood tree or a speck of sawdust, all sin and fall short of the glory of God. No one in this world is free from sin, every single person, no matter how perfect they strive to be, still sins.
So what's Jesus saying here? Well, the emphasis in this case is on what He's not saying.
Who can judge?
Who is perfect enough to judge the next guy on all his sins and faults?
No one. Not you, not me. Jesus.
Jesus is the only one who doesn't have that mess in his eyes. He's the only one who can see clearly enough beyond the smokescreen of this world to judge.
So the next time you judge, think to yourself, "Am I free from sin? Don't I have my fallacies and weaknesses as well?"
It's so great when you think about it. He's the perfect judge. He's the perfect mapmaker for our lives.
I'm glad we didn't leave that job up to a human.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Cards on the table
You know what I love? How miserable and uncomfortable I've been lately. How discouraged and worthless I've felt. I love it. Every second of it.
I'm not crazy, either.
This is what I picture. Satan's sitting at his little control desk, in a bad mood, like always. He's drinking his coffee, staring at a little radar screen. He zooms in on the US. He's always had considerable "productivity" there. Sexual sin is the biggest payoff. He chuckles as he thinks about all the people who strike it rich but will eventually lose it all. Suddenly, a little blip flashes on his radar. There are million all over the world, but when another one pops up it always strikes a nerve in him.
"Crap," he says. "Not another one."
He zooms in. He sees a young kid. Lanky and clumsy, yet passionate. The Enemy watches as the kid talks to someone about Jesus. He seems kinda serious. Maybe a little too serious.
"That's not good," Satan whispers to himself. "Might have to take care of that..."
That's me.
The Enemy is taking time to discover my weaknesses, like a lion getting ready to eat a gazelle, following it's pattern; exploiting its flaws. He knows every crevice of pain I hide. Every sin he can grow and water, like a morbid weed, and then expose it in hopes of destroying me. Sorry bud, but I kinda just foiled your "element of surprise".
I may never be cool. I may never be well-liked. I may never make another friend. I may never have a wife I can love and cherish. I may never have children. I may never get rich. I may never become a successful minister! I may die. I may never become all that I've dreamed of.
But I will always be a soldier of my Lord, Jesus Christ. I will always fight these spiritual battles. I will always stand for the most important thing in the universe.
But most of all, as long as I have breath in my lungs, I will be a threat to the Enemy. I will call upon the strength of the Father and I will not be destroyed.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
Friday, March 23, 2007
Dad talk
What is a father?
Can you give me a detailed definition? 'Cause I don't think you can.
Go ask a few people how they would define a dad. I'm guessing some of the answers would go along these lines:
- "Someone who loves and is caring for his child."
- "Someone who is stern and raises his children with dignitiy and honor."
- "A scum bag who doesn't even have the balls to stick around while his wife raises his child."
- "A well-intentioned workaholic who brings home the bacon, but doesn't show the love."
I predict no two answers would be exactly the same.
We're told numerous times that Jesus is our Heavenly Father. The term "Father" is so relative, and naturally, the idea of all of us being unified under one Father is terrifyingly foreign. You can bring in a Bible scholar to analyze the word's context and whatchamahoojit, but the bottom line will always be what was engrained into that scholar's mind; his or her own idea of a father. You following me? If my father is an abusive, alcoholic jerkwad, what am I supposed to think when people tell me Jesus is my heavenly father? If I never confide in my father, why would I confide in a Heavenly Father?
How are we to go about erasing our individual personas of fathers to fully grasp the magnitude of our Heavenly Father? Honestly, It's like forgetting how to ride a bike.
You tell me.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
The bottom line
"Life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify..."
-Henry David Thoreau
I hate religion.
That's right, you read right, I hate it.
Religion is what tears churches in two.
Religion is what causes people to fight about how to pour water over someone's head.
Religion is what makes churches argue about how to pray in tongues.
Religion is what makes people say
"I'm gonna clean up my act and go to church, then I'll be saved."
"Then I'll be saved."
"Oh yeah and maybe I'll pray to Jesus or something. His name was Jesus, right? And he like... ah... um... OH YEAH he died on a cross for some reason. Gooot it. That's right. Well that sucks for him."
I have literally heard words similar to these come out of a classmate's mouth.
Religion is no good when Jesus is not in the sentence. I love Jesus. I worship Jesus. I don't worship religion. I don't pray to religion.
"Simplify, simplify, simplify."
When someone believes he can ensure his place in heaven by going to church and singing, I hate to say it, but score 1 for Satan.
God made us because He was lonely.
God wants us to worship Him.
God wants us to obey Him.
God wants us to love Him.
Religion didn't die so you could approach the Father. Our very human and finite minds have turned a beautiful thing the Lord intended for us and warped it to fit our moods. I love my church, and I'm not denying the presence of Jesus in our church family, but just imagine what would happen if every church in the world built their foundations on those four things.
I don't think God intended for His churches' main concerns to be whether or not to sing hymns or modern worship songs.
Religion = Bad
Jesus = Good
Just simplify.
-Henry David Thoreau
I hate religion.
That's right, you read right, I hate it.
Religion is what tears churches in two.
Religion is what causes people to fight about how to pour water over someone's head.
Religion is what makes churches argue about how to pray in tongues.
Religion is what makes people say
"I'm gonna clean up my act and go to church, then I'll be saved."
"Then I'll be saved."
"Oh yeah and maybe I'll pray to Jesus or something. His name was Jesus, right? And he like... ah... um... OH YEAH he died on a cross for some reason. Gooot it. That's right. Well that sucks for him."
I have literally heard words similar to these come out of a classmate's mouth.
Religion is no good when Jesus is not in the sentence. I love Jesus. I worship Jesus. I don't worship religion. I don't pray to religion.
"Simplify, simplify, simplify."
When someone believes he can ensure his place in heaven by going to church and singing, I hate to say it, but score 1 for Satan.
God made us because He was lonely.
God wants us to worship Him.
God wants us to obey Him.
God wants us to love Him.
Religion didn't die so you could approach the Father. Our very human and finite minds have turned a beautiful thing the Lord intended for us and warped it to fit our moods. I love my church, and I'm not denying the presence of Jesus in our church family, but just imagine what would happen if every church in the world built their foundations on those four things.
I don't think God intended for His churches' main concerns to be whether or not to sing hymns or modern worship songs.
Religion = Bad
Jesus = Good
Just simplify.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Jesus notices the small stuff!
Wow. I think my week was pretty much just made a few minutes ago.
I'm a stresser. I get stressed. It's just what I do. Because I'm me, I waited 'til tonight to write a news story for the school paper. Oh, and it was due yesterday. Yeah, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So naturally, I get home and I'm stressed; beating myself up because I have hardly 10 quotes to make a 600-word story. I called a guy from the school board for an interview, and he hasn't called back, I'm on a time-crunch and I have an iffy main source.
Ughhhh why do I do this to myself.
So I'm sitting on my bed mulling over how much of an idiot I am for waiting this long, dreading going up to the cold computer room and facing the barren wasteland of an empty Word document.
A hear a still, small voice.
"Give it to Jesus!"
Mmm, this is not important enough, I doubt Jesus'll care.
Wait... WHAT?! I DOUBT JESUS WILL CARE?!!?
So I pray right then and there. I tell the Father the story is in His hands. I'll give my best, but Jesus is officially taking the reins.
So I'm struggling to piece this thing together, and I'm about ready to pull my hair out. Finally, I just lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I had to take a break.
Annnnnd my phone rings.
I pull it out, it says "Anonymous".
I answer it.
"Hi, this is Mr. Griffin, I'm calling back to speak with Matt Kenyon regarding an interview."
I honestly can't describe my heart then. In that moment, I felt as if I had just witnessed someone being raised from the dead... as if I had just single-handedly felt the love of Jesus Christ. Jesus recognized my stress, and he sent an answer.
It got me thinking. When we sing songs like I Surrender All, we give all the important things to Jesus. The sexual sin, the lying to our parents, the temper we so frequently lose. Do we ever think that when Jesus told us to surrender all, he meant the everyday, silly stuff, too? It may seem mundane or unimportant, but Jesus wants you to give it all up -- every last drop.
I'm a stresser. I get stressed. It's just what I do. Because I'm me, I waited 'til tonight to write a news story for the school paper. Oh, and it was due yesterday. Yeah, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So naturally, I get home and I'm stressed; beating myself up because I have hardly 10 quotes to make a 600-word story. I called a guy from the school board for an interview, and he hasn't called back, I'm on a time-crunch and I have an iffy main source.
Ughhhh why do I do this to myself.
So I'm sitting on my bed mulling over how much of an idiot I am for waiting this long, dreading going up to the cold computer room and facing the barren wasteland of an empty Word document.
A hear a still, small voice.
"Give it to Jesus!"
Mmm, this is not important enough, I doubt Jesus'll care.
Wait... WHAT?! I DOUBT JESUS WILL CARE?!!?
So I pray right then and there. I tell the Father the story is in His hands. I'll give my best, but Jesus is officially taking the reins.
So I'm struggling to piece this thing together, and I'm about ready to pull my hair out. Finally, I just lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I had to take a break.
Annnnnd my phone rings.
I pull it out, it says "Anonymous".
I answer it.
"Hi, this is Mr. Griffin, I'm calling back to speak with Matt Kenyon regarding an interview."
I honestly can't describe my heart then. In that moment, I felt as if I had just witnessed someone being raised from the dead... as if I had just single-handedly felt the love of Jesus Christ. Jesus recognized my stress, and he sent an answer.
It got me thinking. When we sing songs like I Surrender All, we give all the important things to Jesus. The sexual sin, the lying to our parents, the temper we so frequently lose. Do we ever think that when Jesus told us to surrender all, he meant the everyday, silly stuff, too? It may seem mundane or unimportant, but Jesus wants you to give it all up -- every last drop.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
This world's best kept secret
Let's go on a journey. Picture this. It's mid-2005. A young, scraggly-haired Matt is standing in the back pews of a church service slightly swaying as the music is being played. He's thinking about what he's going to have for lunch, what he has to do for homework or if he's gotten a MySpace comment. The last thing on his mind is serving others, especially Jesus. A mission trip to Mexico? Mmmm, that requires work. CIY? As long as there'll be hot girls from other youth groups, I'll consider it.
Goodness! It pains me to write this. It's the truth though. In utter honesty, I didn't want anything to do with Jesus. It's as plain and simple as that. Scripture and church were boring. "Yeah, I know, Jesus came to die on earth for my sins, covered by his blood, yadda yadda yadda."
But He rescued me.
No honestly. I look back on some of the things I've done and said in the past and I see another person. A lost kid who just can't seem to find something good to be passionate about. Something that will just be everything I need.
What happened to me?!
The Word of God went from a boring, repetitive book to food for my heart -- I read it everyday and still can't get enough. The caliber of the love of Jesus Christ is made so much clearer to me. My eyes have been opened!
Now that I'm a follower of the Lord, it's my job to share the wealth. This love is too important to keep secret. Though it may cost me things I've grasped tight throughout my life, I can't let a dying world live another minute without them experiencing this same connection I've developed with my Father.
It worked for a lost, sad 15-year-old, so why keep the secret?
Goodness! It pains me to write this. It's the truth though. In utter honesty, I didn't want anything to do with Jesus. It's as plain and simple as that. Scripture and church were boring. "Yeah, I know, Jesus came to die on earth for my sins, covered by his blood, yadda yadda yadda."
But He rescued me.
No honestly. I look back on some of the things I've done and said in the past and I see another person. A lost kid who just can't seem to find something good to be passionate about. Something that will just be everything I need.
What happened to me?!
The Word of God went from a boring, repetitive book to food for my heart -- I read it everyday and still can't get enough. The caliber of the love of Jesus Christ is made so much clearer to me. My eyes have been opened!
Now that I'm a follower of the Lord, it's my job to share the wealth. This love is too important to keep secret. Though it may cost me things I've grasped tight throughout my life, I can't let a dying world live another minute without them experiencing this same connection I've developed with my Father.
It worked for a lost, sad 15-year-old, so why keep the secret?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Some thoughts on time travel
I've ashamed to say I've given this quite a lot of thought, and I've devised a few number of reasons why time travel would be impossible, if not highly inconvenient.
Squidward, after abusing his time
traveling privileges, winds up in
a space/time rift.
- There is a severe risk of causing time paradoxes (You go back in time and kill yourself, therefore causing yourself and everyone you've affected to change).
- Let's say you go back two minutes in time, what happens to your body in this moment? Does it just disappear or just stay there as a clone of you?
- God created time as an ever-moving system to govern us. I don't think He really wants us mucking around in it.
Squidward, after abusing his timetraveling privileges, winds up in
a space/time rift.
Right place, right time, wrong person
*sigh*
Do you guys ever have a day where in the heat of some emotion or fear you do something, or don't do something, that you regret later? A couple years ago I had the opportunity to meet the creators of Homestarrunner.com. They were coming to UCF and my uncle had all the hooks. All I had to do was call him to schedule a time.
I forgot.
And that moment still haunts me to this day. My stomach lurches when I think about what could have been. How much fun and insight I could have gained.
Something similar happened today. At lunch, I sat on a stone bench outside by myself until my buddy finished buying his lunch. I looked around and my eyes caught a girl that sits outside everyday by herself. She was awkward, not the prettiest, and shamelessly outcasted by the majority of people she encountered. In that moment, I felt the whisper of the Holy Spirit creep up my spine into my brain.
"Go sit next to her."
Aghhhh!!
"Go."
There was no mistaking it. I would have never devised such a thought on my own. I hesitated against the will of the Lord, and the girl moved.
Now, I'll never know what might have happened if I would've sat next to her and just said hi. How can I pray for Jesus to work in my life and to possess my every being if I'm too afraid to step out of my comfort zone and just love others? I don't know if this girl was saved or not, but what if she wasn't? This world is dying, and I'm sitting around wondering what people will think of me.
I really do not like high school.
I guess it all comes back to when you build up the courage to lose.
Elaborate, you say?
Surely:
"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."
Do you guys ever have a day where in the heat of some emotion or fear you do something, or don't do something, that you regret later? A couple years ago I had the opportunity to meet the creators of Homestarrunner.com. They were coming to UCF and my uncle had all the hooks. All I had to do was call him to schedule a time.
I forgot.
And that moment still haunts me to this day. My stomach lurches when I think about what could have been. How much fun and insight I could have gained.
Something similar happened today. At lunch, I sat on a stone bench outside by myself until my buddy finished buying his lunch. I looked around and my eyes caught a girl that sits outside everyday by herself. She was awkward, not the prettiest, and shamelessly outcasted by the majority of people she encountered. In that moment, I felt the whisper of the Holy Spirit creep up my spine into my brain.
"Go sit next to her."
Aghhhh!!
"Go."
There was no mistaking it. I would have never devised such a thought on my own. I hesitated against the will of the Lord, and the girl moved.
Now, I'll never know what might have happened if I would've sat next to her and just said hi. How can I pray for Jesus to work in my life and to possess my every being if I'm too afraid to step out of my comfort zone and just love others? I don't know if this girl was saved or not, but what if she wasn't? This world is dying, and I'm sitting around wondering what people will think of me.
I really do not like high school.
I guess it all comes back to when you build up the courage to lose.
Elaborate, you say?
Surely:
"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."
-Mat. 16:25
I try to rationalize with myself.
"It's just an age thing. With time I'll grow in Christ. I can't expect to be a strong witness in Christ at 16."
No.
Something I, and all other Christians, need to realize is that God is calling us. He's beckoning for us to go forth and be fishers of men. It's just a matter of when we're ready to lose ourselves.
"It's just an age thing. With time I'll grow in Christ. I can't expect to be a strong witness in Christ at 16."
No.
Something I, and all other Christians, need to realize is that God is calling us. He's beckoning for us to go forth and be fishers of men. It's just a matter of when we're ready to lose ourselves.
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